How (not) to make an impression with your head of department

I arrived at the two-week teacher training session back in England full of excitement at the prospect of an opportunity to enjoy the comforts of home which I’d missed in the Middle East.  To add to the wonderful experience the college had organised a Welcome Pimm’s event where teachers and course leaders could meet and get acquainted over a relaxing drink.  I picked up my lovely tall glass of Pimm’s with the customary fruit floating in it and got involved in a conversation with two other teachers.

While talking, the little finger of my right hand brushed against a velvety fabric which brought back instant warm memories of my grandmother’s settee.  I was transported back decades to my gran’s lounge sat comfortably around the coal fire enjoying the sensation of stroking the couch’s soft material – so vivid was the recollection that I continued to caress the fabric.  I glanced down to see what the fabric was and almost collapsed on the spot.  The fabric was a skirt belonging to the head of department at the college… I quickly excused myself and headed for the opposite side of the room slightly panicked at what first impression I’d made and cursing myself.  However, when I glanced furtively to see if there was a commotion or any reaction, there wasn’t - I seemed to have gotten away with it – goodness knows how as I was stroking that fabric for a while.

At the end of the two weeks we all had to complete a course feedback form.  The head of department seemed to shuffle the papers as she reached me and then, looking at the page. She announced, ‘Oh dear, Delv, your page doesn’t have a backside – you like a good backside, don’t you?’

By Delv